WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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