is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
