so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
