also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
