I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
