Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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