I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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