So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
