it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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