Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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