What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
