found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
