guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
