we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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