Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
