doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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