At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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