oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
