So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
