Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
