Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
