Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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