i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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