Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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