i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
