I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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