ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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