I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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