normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
