I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
