I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I understand Curling. That high.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
