is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
