I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
