u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
barbara walters just said penis...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize