Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
