just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
