So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
sex in a hospital.. check
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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