I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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