you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
