I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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