yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize