Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
home. puking in laundry basket.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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