dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
