Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
nutella sex= disaster
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize