She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
