Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
