Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
