Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
