Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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