i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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