it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
