I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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