I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
