he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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