You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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