bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You took a bar mat shot.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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