I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
