I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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