Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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