i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
