This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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