Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
