HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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