Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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