Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
