I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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