fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
