Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
